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What I’m thankful for May 26, 2011

Posted by sunflower71 in about me, Life with 3 princesses, Uncategorized.
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Busy mummies are not only that.  Obviously.  We are also women, wives, colleagues, sisters, daughters, friends, etc.  And being human (I hate being apologetic here, but somehow when one becomes a mother, other roles tend to become secondary) we also get our full share of different emotions.  Among which that pesky feeling of being ‘down’.  Now when does a working mother of 3 little girls have time to feel down?  But you know, sometimes it happens.  The reasons could be various.  For me usually it happens when I make comparisons.  I know they are odious but I guess they are also part of human nature. This time the comparison was with my single younger colleagues.  And I got a general feeling that I was born too early.  I started missing the freedom to do as one pleases on the spur of the moment. 

And then a friend notices my ‘face’ looks different and after a few days of seeing this ‘face’ asks me “do you have something missing in your life? Why are you sad?”

The question shocked me.  I wasn’t expecting it and anyway it took me some time to give myself an answer.

In reality what is missing in my life?

The things I listed are not worth mentioning here. 

My friend then surprises further me by sending me this poem:

Die slowly by Pablo Neruda

He who becomes the slave of habit,

who follows the same routes every day,

who never change space,

who does not risk and change the color of his clothes,

who does not speak and does not experience,

dies slowly.

He or she who shuns passion,

who prefers black on white,

dotting ones “i’s” rather than  a of emotions,

the kind that make your eyes glimmer,

that turn a yawn into a smile,

that make the heart pound in the face of mistakes and feelings,

dies slowly.

He or she who does not turn things topsy-turvy,

who is unhappy at work,

who does not risk certainty for uncertainty,

to thus follow a dream,

those who do not forego sound advice at least once in their lives,

die slowly.

 He who does not travel,

who does not read,

who does not listen to music,

who does not find grace in himself,

she who does not find grace in herself,

dies slowly.

He who slowly destroys his own self-esteem,

who does not allow himself to be helped,

who spends days on end complaining about his own bad luck,

about the rain that never stops,

dies slowly.

He or she who abandon a project before starting it,

who fail to ask questions on subjects he doesn’t know,

he or she who don’t reply when they are asked something they do know,

die slowly.

Let’s try and avoid death in small doses,

reminding oneself that being alive requires an effort far greater than the simple fact of breathing.

Only a burning patience will lead to the attainment of a splendid happiness.

Then reality hits in and I realize I have nothing missing.  Instead I have a lot to be very thankful for.

And this list is definately worth listing here.  The order is not in order of importance.  It would be too difficult to put an order….

I am healthy.

I have 3 beautiful, healthy girls.

I have a husband who loves me and is fully dedicated to our family.

We have two jobs, a house and food on the table.

 …

 

It’s not a long list but it is a lot to be thankful for and enough to blow away any ‘down’ feelings.

Thank you for reading.

 

100 March 16, 2011

Posted by sunflower71 in about me.
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wow!

I never thought I’d get this far!  This blog is just over a year old and I’ve written 100 posts.  This calls for the bubbly!

Thank you to all those who have visited and to those who have visited and left a comment.  All of you are very very much appreciated.

Thank you mostly to those of you who have visited frequently.  Thanks for following my passage from a highly stressed stay-at-home mom to a very busy working mom.  I’m obviously better at being a working mom – juggling the re-start of my career and my family’s needs than by having only the family’s needs to see to.  I feel so much better about my self, my man, my children and my world in general. I am very thankful for what I have, for what we have and for what this big family has become.  Thank You God for keeping your hand on us .

Are we all living in private bubbles? October 1, 2010

Posted by sunflower71 in about me.
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I certainly do. At least I feel I do most of the time.  I feel we have let life become so bl**dy complicated that there is so little time left to enjoy it.  I feel like a real and proper rant about different systems and procedures that I’ve lately come across that have left me fuming.  However I fear I don’t have enough energy to go into all that at this little hour.

Let me just tell you that I’m not alone in my little bubble.  I have my assorted problems, challenges, difficulties – each one pushing and shoving for attention, keeping my company.  My attention is divided and subdivided again many times until the little each problem is getting hardly suffices.  Night time is worse than day as I haven’t yet mastered the still of counting sheep till I fall asleep.  So here I am, in the middle of the night, after having been most briskly waken up by my teething toddler who went back to sleep after a little cuddle leaving me wide awake in my little bubble.  So the only way was to deal with each one as they came.  I took some decisions about work (more about this later or another time), found a missing tag for The Princess who absolutes need to wear one if we want that she gets on the right bus home tomorrow and came to my favourite place. 

Hm…I already feel a little better.

Thanks for reading and leaving a comment.

Please come back. 

Good night.

Juggling September 20, 2010

Posted by sunflower71 in about me, my opinions, The Star.
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These days, my days are charged with a full range of emotions.  I am very looking forward to start working again, after 5 years, next Thursday. I will be returning to a job I loved and I think I performed quite well.  But what if I lost touch?  What if I will not be able to focus?  What if I won’t manage to do the necessary preparations at home?  What if my children, my family will suffer because of this? 

But when all is said and done, I will only be doing what millions of other mothers worldwide are doing.  I know I’m not the only one with these kind of worries.  I know many are balancing the work and family and managing to give their best in both parts. I hope I can be part of this group.  I need very much to get out of the house and do something other than being a mother.

 Now that the time has come, and the my first day ‘out of here’ is practically at the door, I am realizing how unfriendly towards working parents our schools are. While on one side policy makers harp about the need for family friendly measures and facilitating mothers to go back to work, I find myself juggling with the calendar and our list of 3 helpers – my husband, my mum (who lives more than 2 hours away) and my neighbour, such that my two elder daughters are cared for while I’m at work.  Because, you see, my children are still enjoying their last few weeks of summer holidays.  TP’s first day is on the 28th and TC’s is on 5th October, if you please.  Now, my job, is, I believe, the friendliest towards my family.  I am a teacher and will consequently be at home on all my children’s holidays.  I’m out of the house more or less the same hours they are.  However, at the beginning and end of the year, teachers are at school while the kids aren’t yet.  And thus, I’m tasting my first bitter taste of being a working mum, bang on my first few days of work. Seeing things for the parents’ side is a new perspective.  I know, it’s not a pretty sight. At least, right now, it’s not.

To top it all, TS is still not completely settled at her playschool.  Today she was there for 4 hours.  Her carers are happy with her progress.  I somehow feel that because she cries when I leave her, she is not yet 100% convinced that I will always go to pick her up. I just hope that this phase will soon be a thing of the past… It’s wrong of me to compare her to her sisters who never cried when I took them to their play school.  She shows me in very many ways how different she is to her sisters.  In this too, she is to be different.

To round this post off, I need to also say that this blog has been a life line between me and my sanity.  It is my little hobby as is my new compulsion to read fellow bloggers. I just hope that it will be another thing I’ll be able to juggle as we settle in to a new routine and face different challenges.

Fingers crossed June 15, 2010

Posted by sunflower71 in Life with 3 princesses, my opinions.
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3 comments

Weighing options is always challenging.  The level of the challenge changes with the subject of the options.  For example what to wear, what to cook, etc would be on the easy side.  Other issues could be diametrically opposite.

Yes, I’m still on the see-saw of whether to go back to work or not.  I am currently working out the logistics of the 3 Princesses who will be (and this cannot be otherwise) in 3 different schools/play groups.  This country is boasting that it’s encouraging women to go back to work but when we come to the details, well, to put it mildly, in our case, it’s starting to look quite complicated.

We do not have the luxury of family members who could give us a hand so unless the school hours match my working hours, then I’d have no option but to extend my stay-at -home mom period.

That is unless, I’m posted in one particular school that is located within walking distance from two and potentially 3 of the schools/play groups we’ll be using.  This would simplify matters no end.

Now how do I get sent to this particular school?  First of all by asking to go there and then by keeping fingers crossed that the vacancy arises. And praying that if this is a good thing for my family and me, the puzzle pieces will fall into place.

PS Some background: before The Princess was born I was a state employed teacher.  The state gives us the possibility to avail of a 5 year career break to raise our children and can be used until they are 6 years of age.  Additionally, we are also given another year for every child.  So technically I could take up to 8 years of parental leave. I believe this to be a very good deal and helpful for families.  But there are 2 catches: the first is that one cannot do any form of paid work during parental leave and that  after it expires one has to work (or pay back the salary of) at least 6 months.